In this blog, we’ll discuss the three most important stakeholders when it comes to street harassment (victims, bystanders, and perpetrators) and offer concrete tools for what each group can do.
What can you do as a victim?
Despite all precautions—turning on “Find My Friends,” calling someone when you get home, holding your bike keys in your hand as a weapon—you can’t always prevent harassment. And that is never your fault. Still, many people feel powerless after an instance of harassment.
Did you know that many people freeze in uncomfortable or dangerous (sexual) situations? Research shows that up to 70% of victims freeze during sexual violence (Slachtofferhulp Nederland). Your body automatically enters the well-known “fight, flight, or freeze” response. You freeze, even if you don’t want to. Your body shifts into survival mode. And that is normal. That is not weakness. That is nature.
If you are able to act, here are some things you can do:
- Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Take that feeling seriously.
- Avoid physical confrontation if that’s safer. Your safety comes first.
- Use your phone as a tool. Film or take photos if you can. Did you know you can set up an emergency call feature on your phone? It lets you silently call 112, trigger an alarm, or notify your emergency contacts automatically.
- Seek help. Call the police, the Center for Sexual Violence, or confide in someone you trust. You can also report it (anonymously) via intimideermijniet.nl. Don’t feel safe reaching out to the police or other organizations? We can help you with that.
- Why reporting matters? Not just for your own processing, but also to pinpoint unsafe areas. Your report contributes to creating a city where everyone can feel safe.
The role of bystanders
Bystanders can make or break a situation. And yet, we often do nothing. Out of fear, uncertainty, or because we think: “It’s not my business.” This is known as the bystander effect, a psychological phenomenon where people are less likely to help in emergency situations when others are present. People are then more likely to assume someone else will step in.
Two key factors are at play in this:
- Diffusion of responsibility: The perceived diffusion of responsibility means that the more bystanders are present, the less likely we are to feel a personal responsibility to take action.
- Social influence: This means that people look to others to decide how to act. This can cause a kind of collective “freeze mode.”
Your presence alone can make a huge difference. Want to be the perfect ally? Use the Bystander Intervention Model:
- Recognize transgressive behavior: Learn the signs of sexual harassment. Stay present and alert. Just being there and showing that you see what’s happening can already scare off the harasser. Your presence can offer the victim a sense of support and safety.
- Acknowledge the seriousness of the situation: Know that you’re more likely to underestimate the situation if others do nothing.
- Feel responsible: Don’t let the presence of others stop you from taking action.
- Know how to intervene: Ask, “Are you okay?” and watch for body language. A “yes” should be enthusiastic. Distract the harasser or make up an excuse: “Come with me, I need to show you something.” This removes the victim or the harasser from the situation.
- Decide to act: Acknowledge your hesitation, and act anyway. Don’t feel safe? Ask help from a security guard, staff member, or another bystander. Give clear instructions: “Can you call the police?” or “Will you help me?”
Good news: You can practice this. Yes, really. The organization Fairspace offers training through “Join in with 5D”. This online tool teaches you five strategies—Direct, Distract, Delegate, Delay, and Document—for how to intervene during harassment. Because being an ally is like a muscle, you can train it.
What can you do as a perpetrator?
“I’m not a perpetrator.” That’s what almost everyone says. Yet research shows that many people who harass don’t see themselves as perpetrators. For instance, young men often say they stare at women without meaning to, and a quarter of them believe it’s acceptable to compliment women on their bodies in public (Plan International). Have you ever catcalled someone? Whistled? Stared too long? Commented on someone’s body in the street? Maybe you didn’t mean anything by it, but the other person felt unsafe.
It’s important to let go of the stereotype that street harassers are only “creepy men in alleyways.” Perpetrators can be friends, family, or even you. And that’s exactly why we need to change how we look at perpetration. That’s how we create real change. Not just through punishment, but through awareness, reflection, and taking responsibility for what we do and what we don’t do.
Ask yourself: “What’s my intention when I approach someone on the street?”, or, “Have I ever unintentionally made someone feel scared?”, or, “How do I react when someone calls me out on my behavior?”
What is consent?
All of this relates to consent. Consent is not a checkbox or an admin task you tick off and forget. Consent is a living, active, and continually ongoing process. A helpful way to remember what consent truly means is through the consent fries:
Freely given: Voluntarily agreed to.
Reversible: Can be withdrawn at any time.
Informed: Based on complete information.
Enthusiastic: Given with clear verbal and non-verbal enthusiasm.
Specific: Consent is specific to the situation. You can agree to have a casual chat on the street, but that doesn’t mean you want to give out your number.